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I’m in school now. The summer is gone, life is moving on. In the hurry and flurry of classes and intellectual rigor, I find something missing. I remember the long walks alone with the presence of God, the afternoons of journalling my heart to Him, the challenge of His face, the strength of the awesomness of His holiness.  The pricking of grasping just a bit of WHO He is and my heart understanding that being like Him and knowing Him was all I ever ever wanted. The joy that abounded because of Him, even when I was confused. Those where good times.

Now I’m swamped with this and that. There hasn’t been any walks. Just a passing nod here and there. And finding myself steadily unsatisfied. A part of me feels dead. Since I am attending a Christian college, I am required to attend weekly chapel with the student body. I thought maybe this would liven me up. Shouldn’t a worship service liven me up?

Afterwards, I found myself wishing I could be satisfied with a once a week, praise service. “Maybe something is wrong with me. Everyone else seems fine with this.”

No.

I don’t need a snack size Jesus, just to get me through to joy. I don’t need a once a week “fill me up.”

I need Jesus. To know Him myself. Heaven forbid I should ever be satisified with an “on the go” Jesus. Heaven forbid I should ever be satisifed with anything less than living passionately to *know* Him and to make *Him* known.

I want to see His face again.

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