whispers

Instead of doing accounting homework, I put some words together:

president’s honor rollee
always lugging books;
starbucks, library rooms, everyplace with a desk

whispers, everyone
whispers in wide eyed wonder
“she aced Dr. Flint’s accounting!”

the Dean praises her competency
her pictures on the walls, awards held up
interns-piled galore

whispers whispers

everyone whispers–
they don’t know her as a Person.
not enough, at least, to talk directly

-
everyone whispers
nobody knows.

there’s no time for her to be a person
and
she has no soul to listen to any voices…
louder than a whisper

—-
This isn’t me, but that’s the point: i don’t want it to be.

worn out

worn out

—

alert and confident

i’ve been productive for much of the day

i could do a lot more

. but so worn out

*buzz, and status, and tweets and chat*

i think that’s what makes me so

[.it's just too much for this still soul.]

Bach

Nothing beats Bach Cello Suites after a long, long day.

Also: I actually wrote something today. Of course, I despise it now, but I was still happy with it when I turned it in. This was character sketch of Ktsia for my Intro to Business class. I took it seriously and spent a lot of time on it. However, the very nature of the assignment made it a bit cheesy. “Tell about your strengths and qualities.” Yay! I am organized, I am confident, I am smart, I am reflective! yay me! Well. So, that is not exactly what I wrote, but Ego-Hunters (and I am one) could find it disturbingly similar.

*goes and fine some eggs and bacon to eat* ;)

This Up:

my semester:

British Literature 2

Western Civ

Accounting

Professional Editing

Business Proficiency

–

The last is a bit trite and sometimes boring. The others make me smile

O Love That Wilt Not Let Me Go

Geoge Matheson. Engaged.

Loses his eye sight, rejected by his fiancee.

–

But George didn’t lose his Sight, and he choose to yield to restoration.

O Love that wilt not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.

O light that followest all my way,
I yield my flickering torch to thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.

O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.

O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life’s glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.

I think…

…I’m seeing light again.

:)

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth, great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me

“on the go” Jesus

I’m in school now. The summer is gone, life is moving on. In the hurry and flurry of classes and intellectual rigor, I find something missing. I remember the long walks alone with the presence of God, the afternoons of journalling my heart to Him, the challenge of His face, the strength of the awesomness of His holiness.  The pricking of grasping just a bit of WHO He is and my heart understanding that being like Him and knowing Him was all I ever ever wanted. The joy that abounded because of Him, even when I was confused. Those where good times.

Now I’m swamped with this and that. There hasn’t been any walks. Just a passing nod here and there. And finding myself steadily unsatisfied. A part of me feels dead. Since I am attending a Christian college, I am required to attend weekly chapel with the student body. I thought maybe this would liven me up. Shouldn’t a worship service liven me up?

Afterwards, I found myself wishing I could be satisfied with a once a week, praise service. “Maybe something is wrong with me. Everyone else seems fine with this.”

No.

I don’t need a snack size Jesus, just to get me through to joy. I don’t need a once a week “fill me up.”

I need Jesus. To know Him myself. Heaven forbid I should ever be satisified with an “on the go” Jesus. Heaven forbid I should ever be satisifed with anything less than living passionately to *know* Him and to make *Him* known.

I want to see His face again.

You Alone

this summer, many long car drives have been spent with the worship music of Fernando Ortega’s In the Shadow of Your Wings spinning quietly through my thoughts . i love the earnest cries to God that the lyrics in this album embrace .  “Oh God, You are My God” is a particular favourite of mine… simple truths, simple truths that go down to the depths of our being and identify with every individual’s cry to know and worship their Creator

“Oh, God, You are my God”

Oh, God, you are my God. Earnestly, I seek you.
My soul thirsts for you. My flesh yearns for you.
In a dry and weary land, where there is no water.

I remember you at night, through the watches of the midnight,
in the shadow of your wings, I sing because you help me.
My soul clings to you, and your hand upholds me.

You alone. You alone. You alone. You alone.

an amazing week

Katie Marie (me!)  and Kristin

be still

remember being young and wiggly, always being told to sit still in Sunday School class?

–

I’m still trying to sit still…only this time the class is life.

:)

Psalm 62:5
My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.

Psalm 46:10
“Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.”

Psalm 37:7
Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.

Psalm 52:9
I will praise thee for ever, because thou hast done it: and I will wait on thy name; for it is good before thy saints.

[KJV]